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Ranking Everything

Lists that once only proliferated at the end of each calendar year have inundated the rest of it

By Kellyn Brown

This time of year media organizations begin compiling lists of “bests” and “worsts” and “most memorables.” We’ve already begun organizing our own, which we will publish in our annual “Year in Review” issue later this month. Lists are more popular now, since just about everything is ranked.

In my inbox, I have a ballot from the Associated Press sent out to the state’s editors, who will choose the top 10 Montana stories of the year. Recently, searching for children’s books to give my niece, I Googled “good books for kids” and referenced a list of the 100 all-time best, according to Time magazine.

This time of year is heavy on lists for another reason. Children and adults alike are piecing together Christmas lists – although, the two look far different.

As a kid, my list resembled chicken scratch. I had an idea of what was a reasonable request and always feared asking for too much. Only those most sought-after gifts made the cut. It was always heavy on toys, especially Ninja Turtles, and each was ranked by desirability. As an adult, my list is a mess of names, potential gifts, potential places to get those gifts, and a general budget.

Now, lists that once only proliferated at the end of each calendar year have inundated the rest of it, which in my job results in organizations sending me rankings of our state, or city, or people on a weekly basis. Rankings, and so-called “listicles” are big business and often drive the news.

I’ve often wondered about the methodology behind these lists, since separate companies can vary so widely on how “happy” Montana’s population is or how “friendly” the state is to businesses.

More interesting is the topics these organizations decide to rank. Last week, an email sent from CompleteCase.com caught my eye because of its subject line: “Divorces in Montana typically ‘cordial,’ study finds.”

The “study” ranked the most amicable places in America to get divorced. In case you’re wondering, Montana ranked about in the middle of the pack. Divorces here are considered “cordial,” but not as good as in Vermont, which topped the list. Don’t get married in Alabama unless you’re sure of your decision. The state is apparently the worst place to get divorced. Although, as the study points out, “lawyers here stand to do rather well.”

In another recent list (one that is a little more appropriate this time of year) ranked states by how charitable they are. I’m happy to report that Montana ranks a respectable 15th, according to WalletHub. If you want to establish a nonprofit, avoid Rhode Island, which ranked dead last.

If you’re planning on traveling over the holidays, you could do worse than driving in Montana. A recent study shows our state is near the bottom of a list that ranks the number of speed traps per 1,000 lane miles over the last five years. If you are visiting relatives in Hawaii or New Jersey, you might want to slow down. These states top the list, according to the National Motorists Association.

For some reason, I’m also sent rankings that have nothing to do with Montana. Apparently, the best place to celebrate New Year’s Eve is Orlando, Florida, and the city with the highest holiday budget is Palo Alto, Calif. ($2,886).

My Christmas budget is quite a bit smaller, but I still have some items to cross off the list. And I’s better get back to it.