A woman on Beartrap Road reported that a bat had been sitting outside on her tomato plant for the entire morning, refusing to leave.
A Lakeside man reported that a drunken woman called and told him to go outside and find his dog. Apparently, she had let it off its leash.
A woman on East Reserve Drive knows who stole her son’s socket wrench.
A complaint was made regarding free-range ducks on Jade Lane and the dogs, including hers, who are shot at when they chase them.
A Kalispell man knows who stole his backpack.
A bull moose was spotted sleeping along the railroad tracks near Office Max in Evergreen.
Three known chicken killers were seen chasing cars on Olney Loop.
A highly suspicious employee of an Evergreen motel reported that someone claiming to be from the secret service made a reservation for Barack Obama.
Reportedly, someone stole two bicycles from the dump in Somers.
Someone driving down Highway 2 East reported that a man carrying a ukulele was walking down the meridian. The caller suspected that the ukulele man must be on drugs, because “nobody does that.”
Someone in Whitefish reported that a hitchhiker sitting on the side of Big Mountain Road gave him the “death stare.”
A resident on Haywire Gulch reported that the neighbor woman has “booby trapped” the road. Apparently, the trap consists of an 18 inch mound and an equally deep ditch.
A man on Willow Glenn Drive is missing his camera. His primary suspect is the guy his girlfriend brought home from the bar last week.
A Bigfork resident reported that the neighborhood “hippies,” who live in box dwellings, own one very bad free-range dog. Apparently, the dog has killed several of his chickens and was recently seen carrying a dead swan.
A Lakeside resident reported that her prying neighbors were outside taking pictures of her husband while he chopped down a tree.