Page 29 - Flathead Beacon // 3.12.14

FLATHEADBEACON.COM OPINION MARCH 12, 2014 | 29

CLOSING RANGE Dave Skinner

More Road Ragin’

FACTORY

I
T’S BEEN SEVERAL YEARS justed properly, then use them once in

since I last griped about my fellow a while. You’ll be amazed at the things
AUTHORIZED
Northwest Montana “drivers.”
you’ll see – my inger, for instance.
Remember, I told you about that poll Your Neck: Your head sits on a swiv-
that had far more than half of all drivers el for good reason, mainly to look for
Sales Event
rating themselves “above average?”
sneaking danger. Take a gander at your
Well, we’re certainly above average blind spot once in a while. If you don’t
here in the Flathead – in crashes and fa- have time for a peek before changing

talities. That’s shameful, doubly so be- lanes, guess what, dummy? You’re fol-
cause despite engineering oopsies, our lowing too close!
infrastructure is good – yet the blood Turn Signals: In general, you should
and glass sprays.
signal every time you change lanes or di-
If I started a driving rection. No exceptions.
school, and maybe some- If you think nobody is
one should, here’s SOME around to see it – trust
lessons needing taught:
me, those are the times REMEMBER, I

Hang Up And Drive:
you NEED to signal. If TOLD YOU ABOUT
I wasn’t surprised the you don’t properly signal
other day when a fellow all your turns, you’re an
THAT POLL THAT
in a gray Ford pickup idiot.
spaced out, making an HAD FAR MORE Headlights: Mon-
illegal left and south of tana is dark half the
Reserve onto 93 right be- year, yet way too many
THAN HALF OF
side me. Yep, yapping on drivers grope along with
his cell. As for texting and ALL DRIVERS either maladjusted or
driving – I think texters dirty headlights. Aside
are worse criminals than RATING THEM- from truckers, I have yet
drunks. Drunks at least to see another motor-
know they are sloshed SELVES “ABOVE ist take the time to wipe
and usually drive more road slime of their head-
timidly. Put the phone lights while fueling. Nev- 40OFF
AVERAGE?”
and the bottle down, mo- er mind all the yobs with %
rons!
crazed, translucent head-
light housings – I can see Lead, Follow, or
them, but can they see the
Move the Heck Over:
In the left lane? My passing you on the road markings, or deer, or me? Heck no!
MSRP
right is a hint, sweetness! Unless you’re Windows: Some folks apparently
seconds from a turn, move over! If you’re hate cold hands more than a cold grave,
snailing through the corners and have
so they drive of with ice and snow coat-
SPECIAL IN STOCK SAVINGS collected a convoy, do us all a favor: In ing headlights, taillights, glass – every-
passing zones, stay out of the throttle thing the wipers don’t push of. One of
and help others get by. Even better, plan these twits almost got me killed a few
FOR IMMEDIATE DELIVERY
to pull in that wide spot you go by daily. years ago.
Oh, you don’t plan?
Long story short, Miss Leadfoot
Truckers are People, Too: Most Lateforwork had just stufed her frost-
motorists treat trucks as obstacles to be windowed peacemobile in front of me,

wantonly zoomed around. But odds are then immediately was completely blind-
that professional trucker surely has zil- ed by the brilliant Colorado sunrise. As
lions more miles and experience than I backed away hard, her wipers lipped
you, all while herding 40 tons through on “fast” (lotta good that’ll do), then she
conditions you wouldn’t dare try.
drifted into the path of a rancher rig.
See that nice space between that big To this day I don’t know how he man-
rig and the vehicle ahead? That’s the aged to miss her and not roll. I do re-
trucker’s safety gap, not yours to zoom member seeing his cofee cup airborne

into, jam your brakes, and then creep and spraying, as he and I dodged each
into a narrow driveway. Tuck in safely other and straightened back out—alive
behind the truck, then make your turn. in that special adrenalized way.
Trucks (and buses) deserve respect, Did that foolish woman kill some-
front and rear.
body later on? I don’t know, as I moved
Mirrors: Vehicle mirrors aren’t just home to Montana a few weeks later,
for checking your comb-over or makeup. thinking it would be safer.

Really. Mirrors have a safety and aware- Speed safely, darn it!
ness function – keep them clean, ad-

Mike (Uncommon Ground) Jopek and Dave (Closing Range) Skinner often fall on op-
posite sides of the fence when it comes to political and outdoor issues. Their columns
alternate each week in the Flathead Beacon.