Page 21 - Flathead Beacon // 7.15.15

Fading Away
As Montanans live longer, more families are dealing with the devastation of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease while research and medical facilities try to keep up
E BY MOLLY PRIDDY
ach morning, Glenn Mueller starts his day with Helen. Well, that’s not entirely accurate – at 97, Mueller’s day starts at 5 a.m., when he wakes, showers, and dresses, all to be ready to see her by 8 a.m. Things that used to take no time at all seem to take all his time now, like putting on shoes
and socks or getting his bearings immediately after standing. It’s OK that he’s a bit slower now; Helen always waits for him. Once he’s ready, he heads to the lobby of Buffalo Hill Terrace
with his walker, and sets out for the building across the street. He used to only need a cane, but a fall last winter – hurting nothing but dignity, he says – spooked him.
But Glenn is quick with the walker, and makes brisk work of the path between his home and hers. Arriving at her building, Glenn uses his keycard to unlock the door, parks his walker in the hall- way, and removes his ball cap.
And there she is, his wife of nearly 63 years, sitting in the mid- dle of the comfortable TV room, dressed in pink and holding a pink teddy bear.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Mueller says as he leans over to kiss her forehead.
By the time he’s stood back up, he’s weeping, and then apolo- gizing for the tears.
Helen, 91, registers that he’s there, but seems more interested in the visitors he’s brought with him. They don’t converse any- more, and he doesn’t know what she would have to say, what’s left of her memories.
The dementia hit a little over three years ago, and the result has been devastating, leaving Helen largely immobile and unable to feed herself. As her husband who, other than combatting the slow physical decline of being nearly 100, is in good health, Glenn feeds her yogurt and hot chocolate in the mornings, and other- wise watches as she slips further away. She’s in hospice care along with the other care she receives from the staff at the Immanuel Lutheran Communities in Kalispell.
Breakfast is a battle of wills, with Glenn almost begging Helen to open her mouth so he can feed her the yogurt.
“Helen. Helen, look at me please. Helen. Open your mouth. Please Helen. Please.”
Tears fall from Glenn’s face as he stoops with the spoon, cajoling the woman who brilliantly cooked for and fed their
JULY 15, 2015 | FLATHEADBEACON.COM
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