Wednesday, Feb. 11

12:45 p.m. Someone looking for their mother who was in an assisted living facility was tired of getting the “HIPPA excuse.”

1:32 p.m. A woman who was passed out in the grass assured officers she was just taking a nap in the sunshine.

2:16 p.m. A shoplifter got away with a purple Peeps “stuffie” and drove off in a gray Subaru Forester with a vulgar sticker on the back.

3:27 p.m. A woman wondered why her rogue dogs in the park were a problem.

4:04 p.m. A pair of German shepherds were pooping in the park.

8:01 p.m. A driver was convinced someone from the dealership stole his Smith and Wesson, but it turned out to be in the passenger seat rear pocket.

Monday, Feb. 16

5:35 p.m. A guy wearing handcuffs said his friend was “testing out” the restraint device and did not have the keys.

10:21 p.m. A driver had four knives on him.

Tuesday, Feb. 17

9:21 p.m. The “Lakeside Motorcycle Gang” was trespassing.

Wednesday, Feb. 18

10 a.m. The managers at a local pizza joint were smoking meth.

2:55 p.m. A tall man warned security to stay away from him, or they’d be on their back “seeing stars.”

4:44 p.m. A drunk guy flipped the bird as he stumbled down the road.