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WEEKEND OUTLOOK
WEEKLY ON-MOUNTAIN NEWS WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
LOW46oF HI69oF
Forecasting with Geeks, Farmers, Blobs and Boy-monsters
© GlacierWorld.com
Riley Polumbus
It was a dark and stormy night... the cocktail of choice when Ullr
schnapps is not available. A gathering of of self-pro- claimed weather experts, and a few other relevant characters settled into the
to introduce the Blob, who sat apart from the others sunken into a cozy reading chair in the far corner.
Blob seemed nervous as if Mass had ill in- tentions, and looked at NOAA for support. NOAA averted his gaze. Blob is by all means a force to be reckoned with, yet his apprehen- sion in sitting closer the group was telling. For growing out of the shadow of El Niño was the shape of a monster.
Mass could sense Blob’s trepidation. A smirk may have briefly appeared on his face before he asked Blob with mocking a con- cerned tone, “What is it blob? Why so shy?” Mass knowing full well that the Blob read his blog which said:
“The BLOB is vulnerable. And I believe that Godzilla El Nino will destroy it. Nature is cruel.” It goes on to say that, “far more nor- mal conditions than the weird weather we have experienced during the last year. Our region should rejoice in Godzilla El Nino’s strength. But deep down we will be sad for the vanquished BLOB.”
As Old Farmer and Farmer finished their drinks, and politely thanked their host and apologized that they had other engagements to attend. They did say as farmers go that the snow farmers (groomers) are amazing and will keep skiers happy not matter what hap- pens.
Blob slipped out quickly and El Niño, who appeared bigger than he did when he arrived, stood up to say goodbye.
As the host watched her guests depart into the night she felt no more enlightened than she had before the evening started. Then again she wasn’t surprised. One consistency in this time of year is the repetitive uncer- tainty. She nodded her head and looked to the sky and said, “Whatever happens, it will snow and we will go skiing. Besides what else am I going to do this winter?”
living room in an undisclosed location some- where in the North American west. Their host, a weather aficionado herself, invited them to this pre-winter party to try to nail down the answer to the question on every- one’s mind.
“What’s the snow going to be like this win- ter?”
The Guest List:
• Old Farmer (The almanac that started
making predictions in 1792.)
• “New” Farmer (The almanac that started
making predictions in 1818.)
• Cliff Mass (Professor of Atmospheric
Sciences at the University of Washington and resident expert on Pacific Northwest weather who writes an excellent weather blog and has a knack for sharing infor- mative graphics and digging up funny images to complement the geeky science stuff.)
• NOAA (Pronounced No-ah as in the guy who built the ark, weather geeks who grew up to be climatologists or meteo- rologists.)
• El Niño (A little boy from the Pacific, a bit hot headed, but can be a welcome guest sometimes.)
• La Niña (His sister who is always nice to us and we just love her! She’s welcome anytime.)
• The BLOB (Named by a climatologist named Bond, Nick Bond, defined as a persistent region of anomalously warm water in the northeast Pacific)
• SUPER GODZILLA EL NINO (El Niño hyped up on steroids and GMOs thus creating a greater global impact.)
Before anyone’s first sip Mass questioned Old Farmer and Farmer (the newer one) about their predictions in the northwest cor- ner of the country. Old Farmer predicts the Pacific Northwest (the western half of Wash- ington and Oregon and northern California including the Cascades) will be cold and snowy while the Rockies will be mild and dry. Farmer predicts the entire states of Washing- ton, Oregon and Idaho will be wet and mild, while Montana and its neighboring states to the south and east will be, “very snowy and typical winter cold.”
Old Farmer and Farmer just looked at each other and shrugged. They confessed it’s not the first time they’ve disagreed and
stuck to their guns. Mass politely yet in his own dry way fished for a deeper explanation for their predictions, did they perhaps come from botanists who specialize in skunk cab- bage? Biologists researching woolly caterpil- lars perhaps?
NOAA seemed amused by Mass’s prob- ing yet resisted making any comments. As a government employee NOAA must remain objective in these matters. Also because of its background as a scientist NOAA affirmed the prediction that this winter will be a “Strong El Niño” nodding toward the fidgety little boy sitting next to him on the couch.
At this point the host interjected asking El Niño about his sister, how she was doing (she could not attend this gathering) and in- quired as to when she would be back to visit. Before El Niño could reply, Mass interrupted
SUMMER ACTIVITIES ARE AVAILABLE FRIDAY- SUNDAY ONLY THROUGH SEPTEMBER 27.
Photo © Noah Clayton
DOUBLE DIP DOWNHILL - SEPT. 19 & 20
Time for a fun downhill mountain bike race! Pre-register online for just $15 per race or register the day of the event for $25 per race. 2pm start. Full details online.
SEASON PASS SALE! DEADLINE SEPT. 30
PASS SALE EVENTS ARE HAPPENING NOW! Check the website for valley-wide pass sale locations or avoid lines & buy online at estore.skiwhitefish.com. Payment plans are available online only.
877-SKI-FISH | SKIWHITEFISH.COM
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