Night-Stalking Gnomes and Killer Clowns

By Beacon Staff

Today fellow Beacon reporter Dan Testa linked to a story about a creepy gnome apparently terrorizing locals in a northern Argentina town. This, of course, raises questions. We’re left to wonder why people in this town haven’t noticed the mysterious gnome before and, furthermore, why the gnome has just recently decided to waddle sideways through the streets in the middle of the night. Because of my inexplicable desire to believe this story, I’ll resist writing it off as a hoax.

Since we’re sticking with the theme of believing, I find the video clip disturbing. At the end of the clip, one of the boys unleashes a girlish scream to voice his displeasure, a seemingly appropriate reaction. Another teenager, or maybe the same one, was so scared he had to go to the hospital, the story states.

As for me, I’ve never taken issue with gnomes, though I’ve never encountered a night-stalking gnome. But this particular gnome looks creepy enough and reminds me of other frightening figures: sadistic clowns, bloodthirsty leprechauns like the one from the creatively named Leprechaun film series, and Danny DeVito in Batman Returns. Maybe the gnome’s intentions are good, but I’m doubtful.

I’m not sure if the grainy video clip would hold up in a Gnome Court of Law, but the little guy does strike me as suspicious. Stalking around at night always raises questions about one’s motives. I’ve always been advised against it. People may end up videotaping you and broadcasting it across media sources throughout the world. The gnome should know this about today’s technological world.

In all fairness, maybe the gnome is shy about his sideways stride and prefers midnight strolls to daytime walks. Or maybe, like one of the story’s commenters suggests, he is just another drunk with a road cone on his head. And yes, maybe, just maybe, he is an acquaintance of the teenagers and a willing participant of a hoax. But hopefully clips like this don’t permanently damage the reputation of good gnomes everywhere, like horror movies have done for clowns and leprechauns. If you’re like me, clowns have never been the same since watching Stephen King’s It – there’s no good reason for this to happen to gnomes too.

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