Tuesday Buffet: Bill Clinton Tours State, Dog Thefts Increasing, Sarkozy Stretched

Good morning and happy “Buy a Reporter a Beer Day.” April Fool’s.

It’s a relatively slow news day in the Flathead so far, with our top story coming out of Philadelphia, where a bankruptcy judge has refused to shield Montana from any lawsuits resulting from its alleged failure to protect the public from the mining operations of W.R. Grace & Co. The best soccer players in the valley are showing up to try out for the Flathead Rapids. And on the Police Blotter, mailboxes across the valley are being blown up or smashed.

President Bill Clinton is touring Montana today, and his wife, presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton is on the Montana airwaves, accusing Barack Obama’s campaign of attempting to stifle democracy as some of his backers are calling on her to drop out of the race. Video games have been removed from the computers of state workers for the Department of Public Health and Human Services when one employee complained that new computers lacked the games. Republican candidate for governor Roy Brown told a group of educators the solution to Montana’s education funding shortfall lies in greater development of natural resources. A Wolf Point judge rejected Barry Beach’s request for a new trial in the 1979 murder for which he is currently serving time. Dog thefts are on the rise across Montana. NorthWestern Energy may slightly raise rates in the next two years, in order to offset costs further down the road.

And finally, French President Nicolas Sarkozy is undergoing experimental surgical stretching, in order to increase his height – at least that’s what a French newspaper is reporting on April Fool’s Day. Check out the other false stories being published in European newspapers. And have a great and gullible day.