5:28 a.m. The remains of a dead deer obstructed the entrance to a Whitefish hospital. The carcass was efficiently removed.
7:45 a.m. Someone on Third Avenue West dialed 9-1-1 to report that a neighbor was running a lawn mower too early in the morning.
8:41 a.m. A briefcase was reported stolen from a vehicle at a local convenience store.
8:50 a.m. Though it is unknown exactly how, a Port-A-Potty was thoroughly destroyed at McGregor Lake.
9:17 a.m. A trailer home and vehicle on Farm to Market Road were at the receiving end of leftover artillery shells, used in this case as destructive weapons.
10:08 a.m. A man and his wife, both residents of Conrad Drive, are engaged in an unusual conflict as they navigate the throes of divorce. Evidently, the fellow has allowed his cat to reside at the woman’s home but will not purchase food for the creature. The cat must now eat the woman’s cat food, causing her much distress.
10:14 a.m. Several mailboxes were demolished on Wilderness Lane.
10:58 a.m. Two hitchhikers on Highway 40 were accompanied by two skinny pit bulls, one of which was limping badly. Authorities could not locate the injured dog.
12:11 p.m. Seven individuals indulged in some disorderly conduct at Emery Bay. Responding officers easily calmed them down, and no arrests were made.
12:25 p.m. A woman in Somers has not seen her sister in four days. The sister was found and is completely fine.
1:06 p.m. Young drivers apparently like to “peel out” over speed bumps on Black Hawk Lane. It is important to note that a private resident erected the speed bumps in question.
2:53 p.m. A local pastor called to report that an elderly male acquaintance might have been “taken advantage of,” referring to items and cash that have gone missing from his home.
3:44 p.m. Someone shot at a car parked at McGregor Lake. The incident occurred last week.
5:00 p.m. A resident of Martin City is concerned about a distant relative that he has not seen in over two weeks. The relative evidently lives in a van and is known to visit a Coram bar every morning.
5:18 p.m. A 16-year-old female on Pleasant Valley Road threatened her mother with scissors and bit the neighbor boy, after which she promptly ran away from the home. The young lady was found and escorted to the juvenile detention center.
6:45 p.m. In Columbia Falls, a black dog with short hair killed a cat in the cat’s own yard. The homeowner briefly contained the dog, but it soon escaped again and could not be located.
7:58 p.m. Earlier this morning, a Labrador retriever and some sort of shepherd killed several rabbits on Lore Lake Drive. The dogs fled the scene after committing the crime.
8:09 p.m. An Evergreen resident was cutting down trees and blocking the thoroughfare. Though he had permission to remove the trees, he was counseled about the negative effects of blocking the road.
8:20 p.m. Massive amounts of smoke emanated from an electrical fire on Larch Lane in Columbia Falls. The blaze, which originated in a ceiling fan, was completely contained in the bathroom.
8:47 p.m. A suspicious individual ringing doorbells on KM Ranch Road turned out to be simply peddling spot remover.
9:37 p.m. A large black cow was spotted running northbound on Airport Road. The animal was gone when authorities arrived.
10:22 p.m. Someone on South Hilltop Road in Columbia Falls saw a green Honda pull up and pull flowers from his flowerbed.