Friday 7/24
8:07 a.m. A local casino was entered in the night and relieved of its beer supply. Evidently, a transient shut off the power supply to the building in order to execute the heist.
9:00 a.m. Someone stole a lovely pot of petunias from a home on Mission Trail.
9:28 a.m. After kicking in the door at a local auto dealer, several unknown individuals snatched three sets of keys and the corresponding vehicles. All three cars were recovered, though one sustained damage after being used to ram an ATM at a local shopping mall.
10:51 a.m. A resident of Airport Road received threatening phone calls from a female individual, who later sent a text message requesting that the victim avoid calling the cops. The reporting party clearly did not comply.
11:14 a.m. The northbound lane of Highway 93 near a local church camp was partially blocked by a disabled vehicle. The obstruction was gone when authorities arrived.
1:22 p.m. A man wearing a short-sleeved black dress and carrying flowers lifted his skirt at a pedestrian near an Evergreen supermarket. The flasher then scurried behind a nearby building.
1:47 p.m. Someone accidently locked their 4-year-old granddaughter in the car at a Somers dump. A wrecking company quickly assisted in entering the vehicle.
3:16 p.m. While driving past an Evergreen box store, a female party was evidently shot with a BB gun. The victim was not transported to the hospital and no suspects have been named.
4:04 p.m. Several skateboarders refused to leave a residential area in Bigfork. Authorities responded and encouraged them to move along.
4:15 p.m. A handful of kids selling tea on the roadside in Helena Flats stepped out onto the thoroughfare, posing a hazard to them and passing motorists.
5:41 p.m. A cat with “damaged eyes” wandered around unattended on Ridgewood Drive. Authorities attempted to relocate the animal.
5:42 p.m. Though a small fire was seen at a local sawmill, it was out before authorities could arrive.
6:15 p.m. A resident of Martin City claims to have witnessed a domestic abuse situation. When contacted, the victim seemed to be in better condition then previously indicated and will be issuing a statement later today.
6:19 p.m. An inner tube floating around on Foys Lake contained an unresponsive female who may have had too much to drink. Though she was not alert, she was breathing and somewhat conscious.
6:42 p.m. A strong gas smell wafted from a boat moored at a dock in Somers. The gas leaked only into the boat and did not reach the surrounding water.
7:51 p.m. Someone stole $35 from an unlocked car in Martin City.
7:55 p.m. An individual wanted to take his children bridge-jumping in West Glacier, much to the dismay of his estranged wife. She felt that this was a highly dangerous activity.
8:22 p.m. Two orange road cones were stolen from a private driveway on West Springcreek Road.
8:35 p.m. A man and a woman engaged in a verbal argument when the male party threatened to take off his belt and spank their kids. Authorities responded and chatted with the would-be spanker.
8:51 p.m. An extremely intoxicated male dressed in black clothing staggered down the road in Evergreen, occasionally wandering into traffic. He also gestured obscenely at passing cars.
9:37 p.m. A 2-year-old girl apparently shot herself in the mouth with a BB gun in Columbia Falls. She was transported to the hospital by private vehicle.
10:26 p.m. Someone crashed into a bear while driving along Highway 209. The car was not damaged and the bear ran off.
10: 43 p.m. Someone on Bluegrass Drive thought they may have heard a husband and wife fighting next door. Upon further investigation, it was found that he was merely having an exuberant phone conversation.
11:00 p.m. Three women with children heard tapping on the window on McMannamy Draw.
12:13 a.m. Someone on Plentywood Drive saw three males wearing black attempt to break into a nearby home. They ran away when their efforts proved unsuccessful.
12:42 a.m. An intoxicated male in Martin City was behaving belligerently outside a private residence and messing with someone’s Harley Davidson.
1:22 a.m. Nine or ten men and women were seen “jumping all over the fence” at a Martin City baseball field. They were described as “baggy-pants, rap-type people” and were believed to be stealing gasoline.
2:25 a.m. Two white chickens and a cow were stolen near a Martin City bar. The thief was heard leaving in a squeaky truck.