Broken Glasses

By Beacon Staff

Last week, the Doofus behavior in me, once again, overtook my normal behavior and Doofus made me drop my reading glasses/bifocals. This time the lens fell out of my left, or “good side,” and chipped. So for four days I have been peering out of a narrow slit between the strips of duct tape that are holding the lens almost in focus with the other lens.

The lady in the optometrist office on the island said, “No problem, we can have them back to you in two weeks.” I need them every time I am standing upright or sitting down, so I hitched a ride to the mainland with my old friend, Elmo, who knew a place in a mall where I could get new glasses in less than two hours.

We had planned to present my prescription, pick out the frames, go have lunch, pick up the finished glasses and be on our way back to the ferry two hours and 15 minutes later.

It was Thursday, and I had no idea that Thursday was the optometrist’s weekly golf day. While I was ordering my glasses, Elmo took his short bed lumber truck to the transmission mechanic for a new one, picked up his Jeep Cherokee, and was back by the time the nice lady had recorded my prescription and guaranteed that my glasses would be delivered to my island home by UPS on Monday.

We were now back on track so I took Elmo to lunch at my favorite delicatessen in Anacortes. I ordered a pastrami sandwich and a root beer and later Elmo dropped me off at the ferry where I would walk on to ride back to my car.

I was half asleep in the waiting room when I heard a lady holler, “Uncle Warren!” It was Lindsey Smith and her kids. The kids and Lindsey were going to Puerto Rico until school started in a month. Her two daughters were now in college but Lindsey and her son were going to stay in Puerto Rico until Christmas.

Each one of the kids had a cell phone camera, so it was picture time as the announcer called my ferryboat departure. I was tired, and I knew the best place to try and sleep on the ride back home. I had forgotten about the chamber music concert season starting the next night on our island as well as a big concert down in Doe Bay, so the ferry boat was jammed. I hurried to my sleeping spot. Then a party of six people jammed into the seats adjoining mine. They had all gone to high school together in Lynn, Mass. and this was the first time they had gotten together in 11 years. Their kids would run down the aisle to the front of the boat and then run back to report what everyone would be seeing in a few minutes.

All I needed was a nap and everyone I have ever met is grumpy when a nap is uppermost in their mind. I am both a grump and a “Doofus,” so beware when I am sleepy. In the meantime my friend Elmo only had to drive for a half hour toward Seattle where he has his big fifth wheel trailer in a deluxe trailer park with swimming pool and a guard at the gate. Elmo is a bachelor who knows how to live as one and enjoy everything he does to the fullest.

The island is not nearly as beautiful when I have to look at it through that slit of duct tape on my glasses. However, I’m looking forward to my view of the world changing when I have my new glasses.

For more of Warren’s wanderings go to www.warrenmiller.net or visit him on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/warrenmiller. For information on his Foundation, please visit the Warren Miller Freedom Foundation, at www.warrenmiller.org.

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