9:24 a.m. Five mailboxes were destroyed on Highway 2 West last night.
10:29 a.m. An employee of a business on Highway 2 East reported that whoever damaged their sink and smeared grease all over the walls left their purse behind.
11:09 a.m. A woman on Parliament Drive complained that her skinny ex-friend was outside digging through her car.
11:14 a.m. A one-eyed pug and two pit bulls were spotted patrolling the neighborhood of Van Sant Road.
1:12 p.m. A nervous Rainbow Drive resident reported that a fat and somehow menacing yellow lab was loose and lurking around her neighborhood.
2:51 p.m. A dog described as brown, fluffy and uncatchable was loose and attempting to cross Highway 2 West.
11:16 p.m. A woman on Western Drive reported that the neighbors are smoking pot again and she can smell it.