“Googley” Eyes

4:42 a.m. A car struck a Lakeside deer.

8:36 a.m. A Columbia Falls deer had an unscheduled meeting with a car.

8:49 a.m. A Kalispell electrical box had exposed wiring.

8:53 a.m. A man with “googley” eyes in camouflage was walking toward the park.

9:28 a.m. A lost husky and some scrap metal were holding up traffic on U.S. Highway 93 in Kalispell.

10:04 a.m. An alarm blaring “911” went off in Columbia Falls, so someone heeded the advice and called 911.

10:15 a.m. A Whitefish man called police to file a complaint about his neighbor driving a vehicle into his house and running over his dog. Apparently, this happened two weeks ago and the man was only getting around to calling 911 now.

10:21 a.m. An Olney dog ruthlessly murdered some local chickens before returning to his doghouse to think about his crimes.

10:23 a.m. A Kalispell woman was having problems with her dad’s girlfriend.

11:20 a.m. A Kalispell man stole all the staples of a balanced breakfast — a Rockstar energy drink and a candy bar — from a local gas station.

11:24 a.m. A Kalispell man called police because transients are apparently running a prostitution ring in front of his business.

2:40 p.m. A Kalispell dog was harassing two innocent cats.

3:13 p.m. A Kalispell woman was being harassed on Facebook.

4:25 p.m. A Kalispell man found stolen bikes on his front lawn.

5:31 p.m. A local man called 911 because someone was using “electronics” to control his heartbeat. He requested that he be taken to the hospital and be put in a big “red box” where no electronic signals could get through. He added that he once stole a car in Los Angeles, but only because someone told him he had to.

5:41 p.m. Some items were stolen from a Kalispell wheelbarrow.

5:47 p.m. A Somers man said two rabbits in a cage were left in his house.

5:49 p.m. Some Kalispell residents were racing cars in a dry field and doing jumps. A local resident was concerned they were going to start a wildfire among other things.

6:11 p.m. A Shady Lane resident called 911 because his neighbors were setting off fireworks and then quickly hung up before giving law enforcement any useful information about where this was happening. Soon after the man called back and screamed, “When are you going to [expletive] send someone to deal with these [expletive] fireworks. You’re a bunch of [expletive].” He then hung up again.

10:22 p.m. Some youths playing basketball outside woke up a Kalispell man, so he called 911.

10:30 p.m. A Kalispell woman called police because her husband had been chasing their son around the trailer park for more than an hour. She said he needed assistance from law enforcement.