6:02 a.m. A Kalispell man found a wallet in the parking lot.
8:46 a.m. A Martin City woman called 911 and said, “You’ll never help me.” Then she went on and listed her grievances.
9:58 a.m. An Evergreen man was complaining about his neighbor’s dogs. Apparently ever since his neighbor went to jail, the dogs have been pretty annoying, probably because they’re not getting fed or cared for.
10:48 a.m. A gang of three dogs ruthlessly murdered chickens on West Valley Drive.
11:40 a.m. A local bail bondsman called the cops to see if they wanted to help round up some local criminals.
12:15 p.m. A Kalispell man called 911 because some relatives have been “talking [expletive]” about him.
12:34 p.m. A Kalispell woman called police because her 15-year-old son wouldn’t stop bothering her.
12:51 p.m. A Hungry Horse woman got a call from the power company asking why she was using so much electricity. She didn’t think she was using an excessive amount until she walked around her house and found a power cord leading from her place to her neighbor’s home.
1:49 p.m. The first skiing-related pocket dial of the season was made from the top of Big Mountain.
4:18 p.m. A Kalispell resident said a large goat was hanging out in her yard. The goat had a collar and was dragging a chain, suggesting that someone could have been walking his or her large goat.
4:52 p.m. A Kalispell couple was trying to get high but their kids were being a major buzz-kill, so they locked the kids outside in the cold. This, of course, raised concerns with neighbors, law enforcement and child protective services.
5:18 p.m. A Kalispell man said a strangely dressed woman with a shopping bag full of knives kept showing up at his house saying she needed a place to live. Not surprisingly, the man didn’t want this woman living at his house.