Jan. 1, 10:50 a.m. A man driving reported seeing someone in a black leather jacket raise a pistol and aim it at him. Upon closer inspection, authorities found only a puppy in a puffy coat.
Jan. 10, 1:48 a.m. A group of drone pilots were accused of using the aircraft to manipulate minds and worship the devil, as they have been doing for the last few days.
Jan. 12, 7:21 p.m. A woman who accidentally called 911 told dispatchers she was at a big-box retail store, then said she was actually in a car near an auto parts store, then admitted she was in the shower.
Jan. 13, 8:32 a.m. A Bigfork man asked the driver of a passing car to run over a woman’s “big white dog.”
Jan. 28, 3:27 p.m. The owner of a Kalispell business told his employees to crawl in through the windows because there weren’t enough keys to go around. Someone watching an employee do this found it suspicious.
Jan. 31, 9:14 a.m. A man accused his neighbor of trying to “run him out of the neighborhood” by knocking on his door between two and six times every night. The man further added that if the neighbor didn’t stop doing this, he would shoot him “when the weather gets better.”
Jan. 31, 3:17 a.m. A woman with a medical alert pendant hadn’t used it in a long time so she pushed it to make sure it still worked.
Feb. 11, 11:12 a.m. A man who butt dialed 911 said everything was OK except he was spending too much money at Costco.
Feb. 28, 12:28 a.m. A woman wanted the truck shining its lights into her house to move so she could get some sleep.
March 4, 4:23 p.m. Someone who received the second dose of their COVID-19 vaccine was “not feeling that great.”
March 10, 4:32 p.m. A cat managed to do $3,900 worth of damage to a vehicle.
March 11, 11:38 a.m. Someone urgently needed a permit for chickens.
March 17, 2:33 p.m. A woman who walked between two garbage cans to urinate wanted dispatch to know about the pair of underwear she found back there.
March 19, 12:45 p.m. A man accused of dancing around a fire to get it to start said he was actually looking for Easter eggs.
March 23, 7:43 p.m. A man who believed someone was trying to break in and steal his dog admitted to having a beer and some meth, but reassured a dispatcher “I’m not crazy just because I’ve done a lot of meth.”
March 23, 9:57 p.m. The man called back to say his dog was gone and that he was going to do “whatever it effing takes” to get his dog back, adding that he had not done any more meth since his first call.
March 24, 6:04 p.m. Someone was unimpressed with their neighbor’s “free range dog.”
March 26, 9:13 a.m. Someone got to work and found an empty box of playing cards outside the building, then found two cards duct taped to different parts of the building.
April 3, 1:40 p.m. An investigator looking into whether or not two horses were being underfed reported the horses “both are fat.”
April 4, 5:17 p.m. Some kids were jumping off the roof onto a trampoline and mooning each other.
April 8, 11:26 a.m. A man who fell off his long board claimed poor trail design was to blame for his tumble.
April 9, 6:00 p.m. Some tourists taking photos were advised to move their vehicle off the railroad tracks.
April 16, 7:28 p.m. A man with a swastika tattoo on his head was behaving badly.
April 17, 7:44 a.m. A witness confidently fingered two vehicles involved in a drug deal. When law enforcement arrived, they found the suspects eating breakfast and watching the rabbits.
April 28, 3:44 p.m. A man who lived next to a honey-harvesting operation was extremely upset about the bees.
May 1, 10:50 a.m. A road rage incident escalated to a reported “hate crime” when a man was called a Californian.
May 5, 7:10 p.m. A woman believed her roommate was in trouble after someone asked her to buy a monkey for the Billings Zoo.
May 7, 9:49 a.m. A tipster wanted law enforcement to know that a neighborhood skunk was making moves in the daylight.
May 14, 7:42 p.m. A woman who grabbed a stray cow by the leash didn’t know how much longer she could hold it because the cow was trying to step on her feet.
May 22, 10:13 p.m. Two teenagers stole a pogo stick.
May 28, 11:26 a.m. A grizzly broke into an enclosure and ate a llama. At least two kangaroos escaped said enclosure.
June 1, 11:02 p.m. A man who did not want to get a ticket for indecent exposure peed his pants and requested a “courtesy” ride home for not urinating in public.
June 2, 7:46 a.m. A man with a sheathed sword on his hip told officers he would never harm anyone unless he was challenged to defend himself in a fair duel.
June 4, 10:09 a.m. A dog on a “very short chain,” reportedly unable to reach the shade, was found on a 15-yard leash with access to a swimming pool, bed and shade.
June 10, 11:29 a.m. A caller needed an officer present while taking care of his honeybees.
June 11, 9:05 p.m. Someone tried to shoo a grizzly and “it squared up at him.”
June 14, 8:54 a.m. An air guitarist was playing again.
June 14, 4:18 pm: A man stole $100 of crab legs by putting them in his pants.
June 17, 2:33 p.m. Someone reported a potentially malnourished horse, but an officer found it to be “very healthy and its coat was beautiful.”
June 18, 9:50 a.m. An officer informed a caller concerned about a dead horse that horses do lie down from time to time.
July 5, 12:07 a.m. A man yelling that he knew the difference between fireworks and gunshots misconstrued fireworks for gunshots.
July 10, 1:52 p.m. A vehicle lost its brakes on a boat ramp and ended up completely submerged. The boat, however, floated.
July 14, 8:19 a.m. Someone who lost her cat was advised animal control treats cats as “free spirits.”
July 15, 8:05 a.m. Six piggies returned home.
July 16, 11:58 a.m. A man wanted to know how to confront his wife about her goat collecting.
July 19, 7:04 p.m. An irate man apologized to dispatchers saying, “Sorry dude, it’s my 21st birthday and I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little hammered.”
July 23, 5:14 p.m. A suspicious male taking photos in the bathroom was just “taking pictures of the tile to capture of the face of God.”
July 27, 1:15 a.m. A man tried to outrun law enforcement on a scooter.
July 28, 3:39 p.m. Someone who called to report a woman abandoning a child in a car realized the woman was simply returning her shopping cart.
Aug. 3, 8:24 a.m. A man was cranky when his partner left for work and woke him up.
Aug. 10, 12:54 p.m. A man accused of smoking meth proved that he was in fact just smoking marijuana.
Aug 12, 11:36 p.m. A woman whose house had been egged once before arrived home to find her house egged yet again.
Aug. 13, 3:09 p.m. A suspicious looking drug deal turned out to be a two people bagging up huckleberries.
Aug. 16, 8:17 a.m. A suspicious woman wearing a heavy winter coat in an alleyway was just “very southern and not used to the Montana morning temps.”
Aug. 18, 9:59 p.m. Marley the puggle couldn’t be located.
Aug. 19, 7:45 p.m. Troublesome youths were caught trying to steal a neighbor’s cat.
Aug. 20, 2:38 a.m. Someone reported loud arguing coming from a suspiciously parked RV. The investigator found the couple just being especially expressive during an intimate encounter, not fighting.
Aug. 22, 3:18 a.m. Kids stole beer and yelled “meet at the high school” as they drove away. They were then cited at the high school.
Aug. 23, 10:01 a.m. Someone kept mowing their neighbor’s lawn without permission.
Aug. 29, 7:30 p.m. Someone found a large white dog and decided to take it for a 20-minute walk before reporting it.
Sept 2, 2:15 p.m. A school in Ronan went into lockdown as a result of a low-speed pursuit by officers of a man riding a miniature motorcycle across the playground during recess while carrying a 3-year-old child.
Sept. 8, 2:30 p.m. A transient man said he had a dead badger in a sled that he was keeping because it has “multiple uses.” He said he would be moving along shortly and taking the badger with him.
Sept. 13, 10:02 a.m. Two women bought wine at a grocery store, mixed it with orange juice in the parking lot and began drinking it as they drove off.
Sept. 14, 7:14 a.m. A vehicle parked 24 feet, 7 inches from a stop sign was cited for parking within 30 feet of said stop sign.
Sept. 23, 5:57 p.m. A man at a hospital facility called 911 because the kitchen wouldn’t make him scrambled eggs.
Sept. 24, 2:19 p.m. Threats were being made by a caller’s “boyfriend’s baby mamma’s brother”.
Sept. 27, 2:14 p.m. A woman had been trying to shoplift all week without success.
Sept. 27, 6:46 p.m. Someone was going house-to-house telling people their internet was leaking.
Sept. 28, 12:48 p.m. A deer hit a vehicle.
Sept. 29, 4:59 a.m. The driver of a car parked in front of a house with its headlights on for a while had just been using his ex-girlfriend’s Wi-Fi and accidentally fell asleep.
Oct. 3, 3:24 p.m. A man on a bicycle stole a longhorn cow head from a neighbor’s house and strapped it to the bike.
Oct. 4, 9:28 p.m. Two men in clown masks approached a thrift store, but nothing happened.
Oct. 5, 4:57 a.m. A woman just woke up and decided she wanted to pay some bills. However, she was unable to find her checkbook.
Oct. 10, 2:46 p.m. A Toyota turned left at an intersection where no left turns are allowed.
Oct. 13, 2:52 p.m. A caller received an alert on her computer telling her to call Microsoft and move her accounts to another bank, after which she wired $50,000 to the person on the phone.
Oct. 14, 7:20 p.m. A woman reported she and her husband were no longer arguing, but calmly talking after she told him she had cheated on him.
Oct. 21, 10:48 a.m. A woman wanted to report that her husband had two other wives in Georgia.
Nov. 3, 1:59 p.m. Someone was concerned that three horses and a mule did not have any straw to lie on.
Nov. 29, 6:22 p.m. A caller reported her neighbors were fighting, but in a non-emergent sort of way.
Dec. 1, 8:50 p.m. Someone broke into a van, used a toothbrush and left a pepper shaker behind.
Dec. 2, 4:46 p.m. Someone reported their car was stolen and added that it doesn’t need keys, just a screwdriver, to start it.
Dec. 7, 3:10 p.m. Two men with face tattoos looked out of place.
Dec. 9. 8:37 p.m. A caller with a crazy story he didn’t think dispatch would believe refused to tell his story.