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Letter

Zany Times in Helena

Drag shows are the biggest threat facing present day Montana? Never mind that working families can’t afford a roof over their heads.

By Ben Long 

Those Montana legislators going after drag shows can’t stop there. Next, they better go for the reruns on TV.

My parents took me to church every Sunday, but I could not escape the influence of Hollywood. I watched Flip Wilson dress up as Geraldine, Corporal Max Klinger try to get a Section 8 on M*A*S*H and an upstart actor Tom Hanks try to get an apartment in an all-women’s building. It was a wonder I knew which toilet to use.

Things are even worse in Europe. In Shakespeare’s day, it was immoral for a woman to be seen on stage. Juliet was a man dressed in drag, probably so young the folks in the front row couldn’t see his razor stubble. This led to the 500-year decline of the British Empire, culminating in the rise of Boris Johnson.

Similar circumstances caused the fall of Rome. Caesar would not have had his troubles if he had just skipped the toga and worn trousers.

These are zany times in Helena. Men in makeup. Cats cohabitating with dogs. Marc Racicot labeled as a liberal. Lawmakers masquerading as doctors, scientists and morality police.

Drag shows are the biggest threat facing present day Montana? Never mind that working families can’t afford a roof over their heads. Or that we lead the country in suicides. The state hospital is a disgrace. Medical CEOs and insurance company executives make millions but fewer and fewer of us can afford healthcare.

We can solve it all with tax breaks! The grape soda of public policy. Tastes great for 20 seconds, but leaves you with nothing but a film in your mouth. But don’t mind that. Look! Over there! Is that guy wearing panty hose?

Ben Long 
Kalispell