If you’re someone who struggles with mental health challenges, you are not alone.
I’m that someone, too. I have depression, anxiety, and alcohol use disorder – now the appropriate label for alcoholism. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I want to share my experience and offer suggestions for resources, including how supportive relationships are a vital aspect of recovery. I’m not a doctor, therapist, or an expert. I’m a human, living with chronic depression for about 20 years. I’m sober from alcohol for a year and a half. I’m a book lover, skier, cyclist, river rat, mom of two, wife, daughter, sister, and the type of friend who will sing at the top of her lungs in your car with little to no prodding.
In the two decades since I thought my world was going to explode because my brain felt heavy and dark, the awareness of mental health has moved significantly in the right direction. We know more about the brain, we know more about mood disorders, and we know more about what kinds of medicines and therapies can help. And they do help.
The stigma is lessening too, although, I still find it difficult to talk about. I’ll tell you when I’ve got a fever, allergies, even – gasp! – diarrhea. But sharing can still give me pause. Thanks to medication, therapy, and a healthy daily routine that prioritizes exercise, sleep, nourishing foods, and fun, meaningful connections with family and friends, I can manage my depression. I’m more aware of when my mood dips, and what I need to do next.
It’s a learning process, one that was impacted by both of my pregnancies, so I understand that it can be tricky to find the right combination of what works to help with mental health. If you add in addiction, it adds another layer. For many years I owned a brewery and I now can tell you without any doubt that once I quit alcohol every single thing in my life improved. Was it daunting and scary? Of course it was. But only at first.
Part of recovery is making that brave step forward out of isolation and into community to share our challenges. I found help in a lot of areas, from talking with my doctor, rabbi, therapist, sobriety community, family, and friends. It continues to be a beautiful mosaic of love.
It’s important that help arrives before rock bottom sinks the ship. If you’re struggling, reach out. You matter, and there are people who want to help. You don’t have to feel like it’ll be a national broadcast announcement or that you’ll disappoint anyone. You can send a text to a friend and say: “I’m struggling. I need your support.”
If you know someone who’s going through a rough patch, your friendship makes a significant difference. Check in. Tell them why they make you laugh, how getting a slice of a pizza together is a weekly highlight. Bring them a cup of coffee, fresh flowers, or homemade cookies. Take their kids to the playground one afternoon. However, if it is a crisis, dial 911 in an emergency.
Being there shows that you’re bearing witness to the struggle. Your presence offers love, connection, and acceptance.
If you’re facing a mental health crisis, I hope you locate the help and support that you need. You are not alone, and you matter.
If you’re in crisis and want help dial 988 or text “MT” to 741-741. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800-273-8255. All of these options are free, confidential, and available 24/7.