Sunday, March 30
11:47 a.m. A man was disappointed in himself for accidently cooking rotten eggs for Sunday brunch.
11:38 p.m. Someone confiscated their drinking companion’s belongings and kicked them out of the vehicle for “being nasty.”
6:14 p.m. Dispatch was informed they have a “cute voice.”
Monday, March 31
12:07 p.m. A guy with long hair and a beard wearing a stocking cap was racing his remote-control car against real cars by the skate park.
2:44 p.m. A neighbor who “isn’t always a nosey Nelly” wanted to know why the cops were there earlier.
3:18 p.m. A motorist was enjoying a shooter before driving off.
10:27 p.m. A caller was tired of looking at the pink and purple jet ski in the parking lot.
Tuesday, April 1
4:46 p.m. A Siberian husky donning a pink bandana was exercising her independence.
10:09 p.m. A bald guy with glasses driving a black SUV threatened a scooter driver.
Wednesday, April 2
8:54 a.m. A “bully breed” dog wearing a cone of shame and his associate were guarding the neighbor’s house.
9:45 a.m. A high schooler wanted his NRA backpack and “Lord of the Flies” copy returned.
Thursday, April 3
10:21 p.m. Hooligans were breaking into the car wash to disassemble vacuums and pry open the vending machines.
1:31 p.m. A Bitcoin customer was starting to doubt cryptocurrency after transferring funds to a “shady account.”
4:08 p.m. A 4-year-old in their birthday suit was looking out the window.
Friday, April 4
9:49 p.m. A high volume of burnouts were happening in the senior parking lot.
Saturday, April 5
12:48 p.m. A border collie was enjoying some trash on his own property.
7 p.m. There was a full moon coming from inside a fast-moving F-250.
8:38 p.m. Four pickup trucks with glow lights were doing donuts in the field.
8:42 p.m. A condom full of urine was abandoned on the neighbor’s doorstep.
10:18 p.m. A group of kids were told to stop doing burnouts in the parking lot.