Q&A with Aaron Ells, CFP®, CDFA®, Wealth Advisor II at Piton Wealth in Kalispell.
“Sometimes you just sit down at a table, and you find that you are surrounded by blessings,” reflects Aaron Ells at the office of Piton Wealth in Kalispell, Montana. “Now I look back and realize that I have been on this very special journey,” continues Aaron, referring to a time years ago when he sat with at a table of women who had been clients of a previous advisor. They were all widows. “So I had the blessing of listening and learning that day,” and that in itself has become central to Aaron’s mission. Even as he finds more that he can do practically for widowed clients, the listening and learning continue. He realized that he can fulfill his mission even better by being more intentional and reaching out to potential clients, so that when the loss of a spouse comes, the client does not carry a greater burden than is inevitable. “No one can solve the grief, but we can keep away some of the stresses that would otherwise compound that grief. And it’s because those stresses are specific and the experiences run so deep, serving clients in that time becomes extra meaningful in a unique way.”
Here Aaron shares the key insights that he has learned from this very special work and how financial planning can help couples when they are together and after one has passed on. “The challenges for everyone who loses a spouse are unique, that’s the first thing to understand,” he says. “There is no schedule for grief or all the emotions that follow losing a spouse. I am not saying that I have a plan for that. I let people follow their own path. But there are financial and practical consequences to losing a spouse. Where those consequences are predictable, I work to help sort the decisions about those consequences. The emotional fog that often comes with grief is often not helpful for making these kinds of decisions, so usually I work to help with the financial decisions and let the grieving be natural.”
Aaron divides the financial planning related to losing a spouse into three phases: “For When” (Planning in Advance), “What Now” (Immediate Transition) and “What Next” (Building Forward). He explained about the work in each phase.
“For When” (Planning in Advance)
“Having a conversation about potential widowhood can be awkward, uncomfortable or even painful,” acknowledges Aaron, “but in most cases, one spouse outlives the other, and there are financial consequences to that, and so we can work to plan for them.” Creating a full financial inventory is one helpful step. Whether a spouse is working or retired, the loss of a spouse can mean a loss or change of income, which can and should factored into a financial plan. Depending on the assets involved, having relationships with relevant professionals ahead of time also helps. These professionals can include accountants, attorneys and financial advisors like Aaron. “If professionals like these are already in contact and know the couple’s situation, then it becomes more efficient to take appropriate steps when the time comes. However difficult it might be to plan ahead, I believe that it is better than figuring out those decisions just after the spouse has passed.”
“What Now” (Immediate Transition)
The passing of spouse can trigger a number of changes, financial, practical and emotional. The number and importance of financial decisions during this time varies, in part depending on how much planning has already been done. The emotion of grief is going to take time and energy, something that Aaron considers important to acknowledge. “I have the goal of making the decisions small and more manageable during this phase. The more we already have a plan for those decisions, the better, but grief is going to take its time and that’s not usually best for big or drastic decisions.” Aaron works to make sure that there is cash available and adequate income (including updates to Social Security, pensions, and/or other income sources) for the needs of this time, and that the estate stays organized throughout the process, which can include making updates to relevant documents.
“What Next” (Building Forward)
When the surviving spouse is ready, the process takes on a more forward-looking focus. What are the new needs? Are there new goals? Are there lifestyle changes? Might there be a new partner? “Again, no one is on a schedule for this, but often it can start happening a year or so later. The planning process makes a transition from just doing what is necessary to exploring what can happen in the future. There can always be more blessings in a life,” says Aaron, “and that takes me back to what drew me into this work, those blessings later in life,”
Go to https://pitonwealth.com/investment-resources/videos for a video where Aaron talks through this work in more detail and you can find further rescources to help with widowhood planning.
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