Police Blotter

Flathead County Sheriff’s and Kalispell Police Reports

June 6: Lying Kitchen Dwellers Fans

By

Tuesday, June 2

8:44 p.m. A “gaggle” of transients were talking loudly.

8:58 a.m. The neighbor’s cat set up shop in somebody’s garage and was harassing the dog.

10:58 a.m. A family of ducks was disrupting traffic.

10:42 p.m. The neighbor’s bedroom light was shining onto somebody’s property.

11:05 p.m. A man wanted to report the officer’s report about how the bright light incident was handled.

Wednesday, June 3

12:51 a.m. Some bunnies survived an attempted homicide by a husky duo.

11:59 a.m. A naked man laying on a bench turned out to be fully clothed.

4:34 p.m. A dog who hopped the fence was just saying “hi” to the neighbor.

5:17 p.m. A drunken guy offered to buy some middle schoolers beer.

Thursday, June 4

7:20 a.m. Somebody was growling in the dumpster.

Saturday, June 6

11:13 a.m. Five guys wearing ski masks were waving a Confederate flag and peacefully protesting in Depot Park.

4:40 p.m. A “very drunk” guy refused to leave the Kalispell Police Department lobby.

9:31 p.m. Kids were in somebody’s lawn.

10:47 p.m. A traveling Kitchen Dwellers fan lied to law enforcement about the joint custody of the 1986 Dodge Falcon conversion van he shared with his ex-girlfriend. He thanked officers for nothing when he was directed to small claims court, which will have to wait until he returns from his Euro trip.

Sunday, June 7

1:19 p.m. An ex-girlfriend stole a boat.

6:01 p.m. A woman rescued an abandoned rooster from the flower bushes.

7:12 p.m. Teenagers were drinking in the mall parking lot.

Monday, June 8

8:45 a.m. Java the small brown dog snuck out of the house at 2 a.m.

1:01 p.m. A calico cat decided to live with the neighbors.