Last week we established that the Tiger Woods/John Daly meme could be useful in examining strains of outdoor-loving humans.
Tigers, the meme tells us, are the formal, sometimes highfalutin sort that usually follows the long-established norms of outdoor recreation. These norms sometimes mean how you do it is often more important than how successful you are.
Wild Things (that’s one of Daly’s nicknames) are the rule breakers. They defy the conventions handed down by tradition and propriety and instead use result-based measures to determine the correct technique.
This week we’ll look at fishing using a sliding scale. “Full Tiger” represents the most rigid outdoor conformity. “Leans Tiger” means you’ve loosened the knot of your fishing tie, but you’re still wearing a fishing tie. “Stuck in the Middle with You” means you respect orthodoxy so long as it doesn’t interfere with netting fish. “Leans Wild Thing” means you have a strong bias toward breaking convention. “Full Wild Thing” means you bring a sardine and onion sandwich to eat while you decide if any convention deserves following.
Let’s see what our scale tells us about many of our angling friends.
San Juan Worm fly fishers — This fly dispenses with all pretense. It’s a bare pattern of threaded hook shank with a single strip of chenille twice as long as the hook, ostensibly imitating midge larvae. It’s such a successful pattern because even the pickiest trout is a sucker for something wormy. Grade: Leans Tiger.
Squirmy wormy fly fishers — A San Juan Worm, except the chenille is replaced by a silicone noodle. Grade: Leans Wild Thing. Full Wild Thing, if you squirt the worm with PowerBait trout juice.
Streamer aficionados — I rarely fished streamers when I learned to fly fish. I carried one or two in my fly box — a Mickey Finn or a Lefty’s Deceiver — but used them only when the fishing was slow and I was desperate. Today, there’s a thriving cottage industry built around streamer fishing, including articulated flies, rods and lines designed specifically for streamer fishing, and of course, naughty nomenclature. No matter how old the angler, streamer fishing brings out our inner kid, who’s always giggling at fart jokes. Grade: Stuck in the middle with you.
Dry fly iconoclasts — I started fly fishing in the 1980s, and back then we mostly fished dries. Nymphing was really in its infancy as beadhead nymphs had only just been introduced to American fly fishing. Dry flies are easier and more fun. Still, dry fly fishing can be dainty and is traditional; the sort of fly fishing you might do wearing a tweed jacket. Grade: Full Tiger.
Pike anglers who catch bluegills for bait — Northern pike are impressive fish. There’s no more intimidating and terrifying pie hole on a freshwater fish than a pike’s toothy maw. My main complaint with pike is the way the fish’s fans spread them to every nearby, pike-less water. Pike eat everything, including bluegill large enough to make you proud if you catch one on light tackle. Grade: Leans Wild Thing.
Ice anglers — I’ve learned to appreciate ice fishing, especially when done Midwest-style with a spacious ice-fishing shed, a couple of pals to hand around cold beer and maybe a television playing the Packers’ game. Grade: Ranges from Leans Tiger to Leans Wild Thing, depending on the beer consumed.
Ice fishing pike harpooners through the ice — Ice fishing in blackout shelters with a hole large enough to dangle their bait and throw a weighted spear. Don’t fall in! Grade: Full Wild Thing.
Catfish noodlers — Noodlers take a deep breath and drop down beneath undercut banks in muddy southern rivers searching for catfish. They catch the fish by enticing 40-pound behemoths into swallowing their arm. Noodlers then hope they are strong enough to pull the beasts to the surface before they run out of breath. Grade: Surveillance-sunglasses Santa takes one look at noodlers and wonders, “What sort of animal are these people?“
Next week I rank hunters.