I don’t dress up for trick-or-treating on Halloween. I aged out of that action long ago. But if I did, I wouldn’t have to buy a costume if I wanted to go as a basic Bozeman/Whitefish/Missoula guy. That outfit is already in my closet.
If you want or need a basic bro costume, Montana style, I suggest you visit Jonas Nichols Facebook page or his TikTok @jonas.rydell. He’s got all the Montana costumes covered — including outdoor influencer, old-school hunter and fake Montana cowboy.
As for that basic bro costume, you already know the look. For the lid, it’s a trucker hat, featuring a local IPA or fly shop. The shirt is a long-sleeve T sporting a trouty graphic. The trousers are khakis, often in that bronze tone with fancy color names such as caraway or grain or ginger. Footwear, in the fall at least, is a pair of hiking boots.
During fishing season, it’s river sandals.
I’ve got all that, though my Danners might give away my status as a member of an older generation than the average bro, though my gray already has that covered. And while I drive a Ranger, I’ve attached plenty of “stuff.” My River Quiver rod carrier is a bit of an extravagance for me, but there are times when I’m fishing nearly every day in the spring and summer, and I like not having to break down fly rods. Or worse than that, setting them on the back seat with a foot or two of rod tip poking out the front window on the passenger side. How I managed to avoid breaking a tip using that trick for years I’ll never figure out.
I also display a growing sticker collection on the back window of my truck bed canopy, though the stickers reveal the truck is as much about bird hunting as it is fly fishing. There’s an English setter and a chukar there, for all the world, or at least the folks following me on the highway, to see.
Just like the free candy, I may be a little overly seasoned for the sticker thing. That’s OK. I’m old enough now I just don’t care. And besides, I’ve got that Ranger set up almost exactly how I want it. I’ll probably add some portable electricity, a mild lift and a locker for the rear axle, and it will be my dream rig.
One problem with that Montana dude costume: Dressed up that way, my friends might mistake my costume for my regular work outfit, at least on the days I don’t teach. I sometimes wear a coat and tie when I’m lecturing.
Admittedly, in my casual wear I can look like the cliché Jonas so accurately mocks, including the cliché of an old guy trying to dress like a younger hipster. I probably should have arrived at my end-times outfit of polo shirts tucked into tan chinos, accented with a white belt and sneakers, by now.
Mostly, this trendy stuff reminds me how much outdoor gear has improved in my lifetime. That topper, made of steel, provides me with an extra measure of security when I have to leave valuables locked inside. And that pickup is plenty capable off-road, yet rides almost as well as fancy sedans. And all that stuff, the roof rack where I can easily load a kayak and my rod carrier, makes overnight fishing trips so much easier.
You can sleep in a Ranger truck bed, so long as you lie diagonally and aren’t too tall.
And the clothes. Synthetic fibers have been transformed since the disco days of my youth. We now have wading pants that dry moments after stepping out of the water, along with pop-bottle fleece that keeps you warm even when the weather’s not.
There’s no better time in human history to be a basic bro.