Police Blotter

Flathead County Sheriff’s and Kalispell Police Reports

Week of May 11: Charlie Sheen Archetypes

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Sunday, May 11

1:36 p.m. A yellow Lab named Butters is always getting up to some antics.

2:38 p.m. A group of “fine young fellers” got kicked off the tennis courts.

4:37 p.m. A concerned citizen wanted to know how to help a stray cat who was experiencing difficulty breathing.

11:44 p.m. The suspect of a marinara sauce assault could not be located.

Monday, May 12

10:42 a.m. A citizen was disappointed to learn the moneybag they discovered was full of fake bills.

1:00 p.m. The drivers of a pair of pickup trucks were disturbing the peace.

4:18 p.m. Someone snitched on the neighbor for illegal possession of roosters in city limits.

Thursday, May 15

10:27 p.m. An “archetype for a Charlie Sheen film from the ‘90s” accused some Burger King patrons of revving their engines.

11:05 p.m. People were partying by the pool.

Sunday, May 18

9:50 p.m. A red-headed teenager knocked over a trash can before she hopped into a 1990s-era Ford Crown Victoria and headed to the movie theater.