When I’m at a wedding reception or cocktail party, I want to be seated by the most entertaining storyteller in the room. I want to sit rapt with attention and listen to how this guy ruined his first date by throwing up in a restaurant and then later crashing his car into the parking gate after trying to make a hasty exit. Wild tales of misadventures, certain exaggerations about that disastrous first date and the interaction with the police after wrenching the parking lot gate, punctuated by perhaps a slightly salty joke, are all welcome. I want to laugh and clutch my stomach in such thrall and share looks of horror with my fellow tablemates as the stories continue to crescendo until we can’t take it anymore. Who invited that guy, we’ll say after the evening draws to a close. What a character!
This is not the type of character I want from a politician. No tall tales or stories of recklessness or jokes that push the boundary just a bit too far. No personality sculpted by the well-practiced joke and anecdote designed to conjure laughter after the father of the bride made not one but two gaffes in his speech. “What a character” is not something I want to pin upon a character who might earn my vote. Of course, what I’d like to think after engaging with a politician is this: not what a character, but of character. Of good moral standing and decency. Competency and expertise and honesty. Those are good traits.
Another trait I’m looking for? A boring candidate. Yes, boring. As in, please bore me with the minutiae of policy regarding local taxes and services rendered for city water and sewer. Please, start a conversation that will require me to take notes on how county property tax levies function and what kinds of infrastructure projects will benefit from a mix of state and federal grants. I would love to know what regulations are required for building new sidewalks and installing accessible parking spaces. How do the roads get plowed and sheriffs paid and local parks maintained? An ideal candidate will know these details and know them well. They’ll know how to legislate and how to sponsor a bill.
These characteristics aren’t what make people spit out their drink, but these are the qualities that are needed for the individuals who run cities, counties, and state governments. It’s up to us to elect people who will make the worst contestant on a reality TV show because they’d absolutely loathe the experience. It’s up to us to elect the candidate who knows that culture wars and sanctimonious pandering are all smoke and mirrors and what’s really at stake is water quality, economic prosperity, and making sure new subdivisions don’t create additional burdens on public safety.
Election season is approaching, and candidates are more likely now than ever to mail fliers and knock on our doors now that summer has eclipsed. November isn’t that far off, and in Montana we’re faced with another important round of elections. This year we’ll decide who represents us in Washington D.C, in Helena, whether in the legislature or on the supreme court bench, and more locally, including the county commissioner’s race. We’ve endured too many years of the reality TV types who lack competence for governing and feed off the cocktail party-type banter that only pads their image while the rest of us struggle to find healthcare and affordable housing. Election season feels like an endurance race when it shouldn’t be. The next candidate I’m looking to support? Make it all policy and details and specific, actionable plans that are less about punishing the opposing party. I might be bored about waste management, but at least I know I’ll be voting for someone who understands and is willing to work toward good governance.