Detractors of Pres. Bush’s stimulus plan were forced to momentarily mute their criticism last week when retail sales posted a bigger-than-expected gain. It turns out that the 57 million Americans who have so far received their checks chose to spend them wildly.
Some economists had predicted the opposite; that the majority of Americans would opt to save their government handouts or use them to help offset the costs of essential goods, such as food. But, overall, that theory proved absurd – if not altogether un-American – and enough people spent their cash at the Gap to provide investors with some much-needed optimism as food proved overrated and unnecessary.
I took an unofficial survey of Flathead County residents (I asked the few people I know), and most of you have yet to receive your check, and haven’t had a chance to spend it lavishly. While it will be tempting to take your cash to Costco and blow it on a patio set and an economy-sized platter of shrimp cocktail, I’d like to point out some other options you may have overlooked.
It was an apocalyptic June in the Flathead, with a bitter snowstorm, heavy rains and stubborn temperatures that often hovered in the 40s, or worse. The sunny days that returned last weekend may have made you forget that your next heating bill will be abnormally high, so keep some cash on hand for that unpleasant surprise. And if July acts at all like June – this is Montana, after all – and you haven’t saved your stimulus check, you may have to burn your checkbook to keep warm.
With the price of oil rising daily and everyone seemingly downsizing vehicles, most here will balk at buying a subcompact. A full-size pickup is a badge of honor in Montana (one I forego by driving an old Integra). And this is an opportunity to have the government buy your next six tanks of gas. Meanwhile, truck owners can blame rich people for oil prices, pointing out that Lamborghinis, Aston Martins and Bentleys all burn more fuel than pickups, despite their abysmal towing capacity.
The political season has hit full stride and candidates for higher office are begging for cash. Conventional wisdom says that if you give enough to a politician they will then, in turn, return some sort of favor if and when they are elected. While a few hundred dollars won’t buy you the ear of presidential candidates Barack Obama or John McCain, it could do wonders elsewhere. If you give U.S. GOP Senate candidate Bob Kelleher your stimulus check, it may fund his whole campaign. The same could be said for Democratic congressional candidate John Driscoll, but he doesn’t take campaign cash.
Since Congress recently defeated the timber payments bill, Flathead County is poised to lose $1.3 million, much of it for road funding. This means the miles of unpaved roads that pollute the valley air with dust will stay that way for some time. The sad truth is that banding together your stimulus checks to fix the problem may be the only short-term solution.
And finally, The Associated Press recently reported that this year the amount of pyrotechnic material allowed in consumer fireworks has been increased, which means the amateur explosions will be bigger and louder than ever before. Fourth of July is huge in the Flathead and just around the corner. Use your check to start stockpiling your arsenal and wow your neighbors while sending their pets into shock. And maybe spend a little dough on antiseptic and gauze, for when your brother-in-law forgets how potent the new M-80s are.