The airline made a mistake and the computer somewhere half a world away gave me a first class seat. I had not ridden up front for quite some time. This time I was given seat number 1b and I got to watch everyone else board the plane, 148 tourist passengers and twelve in first class seats.
Since my eyes were in line with everyone’s belt buckles as they came aboard I quickly became aware of how many people were overweight and started counting the abundant number of “larger” people. Out of the 148 tourist-class passengers, thirty-seven were overweight, if an obvious pot-belly puts someone in the overweight category.
By the time I had flown halfway to Denver, on a plane that left two and a half hours late because the lock on the door to the cockpit malfunctioned, I had figured out a way to solve some of the problems of obesity in America.
Since the airlines charge you a lot of money for every pound your suitcase is overweight, why not do the same for the passengers?
Everyone has to have a photo I.D. to get on an airplane and that photo I.D. is usually a driver’s license that has your height along with your photograph. Why not apply insurance weight actuaries to your height and get weighed just like your suitcase? Allow a 10 percent overweight to how much you should weigh and then pay for any excess. Pick a number to multiply it by. It takes more fuel to fly a person who is 100 pounds overweight than it does to fly someone who is within the weight restrictions.
I know that you are allowed only one piece of carry-on luggage but about one-third of the passengers on this flight had two or more pieces of luggage. One man had a large rucksack on backwards so it hung over his stomach. He also had a big rucksack on properly and he was also wearing a fanny pack and carrying a laptop computer in one hand. Everybody thinks that they have figured out a way to scam the airline out of whatever they can get away with. Why don’t all of the airlines raise their prices $25 and not charge you extra for a suitcase?
During the first 20 or so trips I took to Europe to make my ski films, we were allowed 20 kilograms (44 pounds) and that included our ski equipment and other clothes. Everyone quickly learned to wear their ski boots on the plane instead of paying extra to fly them. On about my fifth trip the weight problem became very critical. I woke up from my nap when the engines and propellers suddenly sounded different. I got very nervous when I looked out a window on the other side of the plane and one of the propellers had stopped working because of some problem in the engine. The captain came on the intercom and said, “Don’t worry, we have three other engines that can get us the rest of the way to Europe!”
We landed in Ireland with fire engines and ambulances running down the parallel runway as we slowed down and then started taxiing into the terminal. When we did everyone applauded loudly and later a lot of us clomped down the aisle in our ski boots to get off. I have no idea how much 40-plus pair of ski boots weigh. (Back then, the overhead bins did not have lids and no luggage over six or eight pounds could be stored overhead.)
If I sound holier than thou about weight, maybe it is because last fall I found a great diet for me and lost over 30 pounds in a couple of months. I have more energy, I have lowered my golf handicap from 36 to 34 and what is not to like about all of that? I have a good friend who lost 48 pounds on the same diet. My stepson, Colin, told us about the film, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.” It was so inspiring, I really went for it. I hope I got to it early enough so I won’t be charged for being overweight the next time I fly.
For more of Warren’s wanderings go to www.warrenmiller.net or visit him on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/warrenmiller. For information on his Foundation, please visit the Warren Miller Freedom Foundation, at www.warrenmiller.org.