Beer Me!

12:39 a.m. A Bigfork man reported that he had a “small emergency” and could only tell an officer what it was. When an officer contacted the man, he said he desperately needed a six-pack and some Swisher Sweets cigars. The man was informed that law enforcement could not fulfill the request.

8:48 a.m. A Kalispell man called police because he was worried about the woman he had met online. Apparently, their new relationship had been going so well that he wired her money so she could visit him from Butte, but she never showed up. Law enforcement tracked down the woman, who said she didn’t want anything to do with the man.

9:22 a.m. A Columbia Falls man called 911, breathed heavily into the phone and then hung up.

11:02 a.m. A man at a Kalispell hotel had been screaming for hours.

1 p.m. A Kalispell man accidentally called 911. When dispatch called back to make sure everything was OK, the man apologized and said he was “trying to program my mother’s…” and then hung up again. Apparently, he wasn’t having a lot of success programming whatever he was trying to program.

2 p.m. A Kalispell man said his new neighbor came over the previous day to introduce himself. The meeting initially went well until the new neighbor started screaming and threatened to put his house on top of the man’s house and fly a plane over it. The Kalispell man was understandably confused.

3:09 p.m. Two dogs were chasing deer off Whitefish Stage Road.

3:45 p.m. A Kalispell woman accidentally called 911 and said she didn’t know how she did it. One could assume she called it by dialing 9-1-1.

4:01 p.m. A local resident called police because someone had lied on their online dating profile.

6:21 p.m. Deer were hanging out in the middle of the highway.

9:39 p.m. A dead deer was reported in the middle of the highway.