Someone Hates the New Taylor Swift Album

3:42 a.m. A caller wondered why the neighbor was adjusting her sprinklers.

 

8:03 a.m. A purple kayak was suspiciously still next to the water.

 

10:46 a.m. A wild goose chasing an adult and two kids was not deterred by thrown rocks.

 

11:22 a.m. Someone walked into a radio station and maced the DJ.

 

5:29 p.m. An unresponsive biker lying on the side of the road was just taking a nap.

 

7:09 p.m. A man was threatening the demons that were after him.

 

10:27 p.m. A caller’s aunt wasn’t answering the phone because it was in the refrigerator.

 

11:14 p.m. A driver lost their bumper after driving over a dead deer.