10:07 a.m. A man stole a lighter from a store.
10:10 a.m. A recent transplant called 911 to ask what to do about the drivers who keep flipping him off and telling him to go back to Texas.
10:26 a.m. Someone stole parts off a snowplow.
11:30 a.m. A man entered a store with a samurai sword, took some super glue and a pair of gloves, and threatened to chop people if they didn’t let him leave.
3 p.m. An officer responded to a call regarding a rescued injured duck, but as no one was willing to care for the duck, what with the avian influenza going around, the officer humanely dispatched the mallard.