Posts By: Micah Drew

911 Gains

8:24 a.m. A black Labrador jumped its fence and wasn’t seen again.  9:08 a.m. Some folks were arguing loudly on their front lawn.   11:20 a.m. A gym user accidentally dialed 911 while doing a press.   12:19 p.m. A woman bought $1 of gasoline and then stole some snacks from the gas station.  1:39 […]

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The Hero We Deserve

8:38 a.m. A tree pruner was concerned after a passerby engaged him in conversation about how the local daycare was run by devils and turning the children into devils. 12:48 p.m. Someone didn’t know what to do about the three mailboxes that had appeared in their front lawn.  1:28 p.m. A longtime meth user told […]

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The 911 Advice Column

1:12 p.m. While walking her dog, a woman was told she’d better not let the dog off its leash, “or else.”  2:35 p.m. A couple didn’t have an issue but wanted some relationship advice.  4 p.m. Someone suspected that some casino gamblers were smoking cocaine in the parking lot.  7:09 p.m. Someone was concerned their […]

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Something Smells Methy

11:35 a.m. Someone kicked down a fence.  12:11 p.m. A woman was disappointed when officers told her they couldn’t smell the meth lab she’d reported.  12:55 p.m. A shoplifter made off with a new Nike backpack and Nike sneakers.   3:39 p.m. A rogue Pitbull was roaming the neighborhood. 

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Good Kitty

1:43 a.m. Someone reported a “tapping” sound on their roof that was loud enough to wake their dog.  9:13 p.m. A mountain lion kept coming up to someone’s back porch and staring in the window. 

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Helicopter Mom

8:25 a.m. A man discovered a box of power tools behind his dumpster but threw them away when he discovered they didn’t work. 8:42 a.m. Some blankets in the nearby park were hiding a couple getting frisky.  9:27 a.m. Someone received $60 to run an errand and buy a roll of stamps but never came […]

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