Two people sitting in a ditch “decided to have a smoke.”

Someone called to warn the sheriff’s office that the “ACLU would be coming for them” after a video appeared on YouTube.

A small child dialed 911 and started mashing buttons.

A dog owner was mortified that her “very intelligent” dog had killed a deer despite having “already talked to her dog” about not killing deer.

A highly intoxicated woman said she wanted to go to jail because “she likes handcuffs.”

Spinning brodies went horribly wrong and now three ducks are dead.

In a sure sign that winter has arrived, a black Subaru was “doing brodies” in a parking lot.

A man was upset that his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend was throwing full beer bottles at him and not one of the five empty ones nearby.

A man who thought an “acorn or something” fell on his vehicle was surprised to learn his driver side door was struck by an arrow.

A bear cruising through a Whitefish neighborhood was “just being a bear.”

A Bigfork woman locked herself in her closet.

A pig reported to be “pretty friendly” was on the loose near a fast food restaurant.

A man trying to call his “honey” accidentally called 911.

Someone worried the large, white bus was going to be a problem during an upcoming Trump rally, believing it was “related to Antifa.”

A neighbor said “screw it, let’s go get the drugs” a little too loudly.